Sand Castles

My St Francis Bay

I find it the hardest

To not think about

The most visceral one for me

Past too fast

Where smells are too powerful

Strength

Because they show so much

I lived with you, skin prickling happy

The fynbos and the Kromme River

My whole life

Beach routine

That only we knew

And lonely Christmases

Normal love, prayers at sunrise

Breathing in mornings where routine feels right

Now I finally live

By the sea

With a baby and house

My own

And we sit on the rugged cold beach

No bay, not the smells of the sea, not right

And build sand castles

And where there was so much feeling

Waking up joyful

Milo in those small green plastic cups

The smooth chair

Vetkoek on the boat, choice cheese jam or mince

Endless stretches on the water

Christmas carols on the baby beach

Our rock house

Now

I feel nothing

And just want to weep

That some things

Only childhood can create.