Stormy weather

The collecting of clouds, gathering grey matter
behind the blue gum trees
magnifying the bird calls
the rising humidity
before the first hand clap thunder lightning sign
the shattering rain
watched from behind a safe warm window pane
used to be reassuring, a calm sense of water

the storm clouds gathering now
are pressured behind my eyes
car fumes, no trees
no birds
no warning, but a burst of tears
with no hideout, no safe place to watch the falling drops
just a mirror, reflecting
the storm in my head